The Killing Effect
by Yukimorinozuka1
Summary: When 24 Robert Kimberly goes out drinking, he makes a terrible mistake. But will his reaction to it terrify him more?


It started out as an accident. This was never my intention. i could barely stomach killing a bug. How did it get so out of hand? Maybe I had too much to drink? That could be the only explanation to this feeling. I was in shock. I had to be. I pinch the bridge of my nose as i lean forward. Trying to grasp the reality of what i had just done. It all happened so fast... I close my eyes as the flashbacks to his final moments play behind my eyelids.

I was rushing, trying to get back to my house. I told her i wouldn't go out anymore. I promised, Id kick this habit, for her, for us. But as the word become more hectic and our arguing became more frequent, my need for my crutch was growing. You see, there's only a few things that can help a man relax. Sex, Drugs, and Drinks. With the increase in the animosity between Jennifer and i, sex was off the table. But i would never stoop so low as to cheat on her. I had too much respect to do that to her. I could always suffocate my sorrows in a blunt. Lord knows id done it plenty of times before. But being relaxed and uncaring wasn't what i was craving.I wanted to forget. The easiest way it to lose yourself is in a bottle.

When you're drunk, you aren't you. Your worries and cares are not your own. Your'e louder, more jovial, more alive. You don't answer the phone when your girlfriend calls you asking where you are, because in that bottle, you don't have a girlfriend. You aren't working for a boss who's out to get you. You aren't living in a run down apartment with rent 3 times more than what its worth. You're just there. swimming around in your bottle. Mine just so happened to be filled with vodka. Simple, vodka could be anything. you can add you different flavors and color and change it into something entirely. Make it pretty so others would want it. Vodka could adapt. Me? I liked it the way it was. Plain. Boring. Stripped away of all the unneeded extras. It was just...simple. I envied it. After i had downed my last shot, I decided I might as well head back. I had avoided Jennifer for over 3 hours now. After paying my tab I stumbled to the door and started on my way down the stairs. Who puts a bar at the top of a flight of stairs? Making my down I see him coming up, slowly. Taking his time. He didn't look like someone who was here to hide from anything. He probably just wanted to relax. I envied him. I walked a little faster, my envy was getting to me and I knew I just needed to get back home. Halfway down we met. There was only enough room for one person to go and the polite thing would have been to let the man pass. But i wasn't in the mood. Pushing past him, I continued down the stairs, ignoring the annoyed grunt of the man. I didn't even turn around when I heard him gasp. What caught my attention was a loud thud. My curiosity caused me to turn. I wish I hadn't, because that sight will forever be ingrained into my mind.

He laid there, sprawled out among the steps. His head turned sideways in an unnatural position. His eyes, a blueish-gray stared unseeingly past me. Blood was already pooling underneath his head, causing a puddle that trickled down onto the step below. His mouth hang opened in a silent gasp. I hadn't meant for him to fall backwards. I hadn't meant for him to fall at all. I just...I just wanted to go home.

I opened my eyes as I try to catch my breath. I was waiting for the panic to set in. For fear to grip me by my throat. But all I felt was warm. A calming warmth. I was...calm. This alone alarmed me. I was more afraid of my lack of fear. I pulled out my phone, ready to call the police but something stopped me. Something nagging in the back of my head said to just leave him. Maybe it was the alcohol but i didn't resist. I quickly made my way off the street and headed back home. It wasn't until I passed by a display for some fancy store i could never afford that I realized I was smiling. Viewing my reflection in the window made my laugh. I had just killed a man and I was happy. The happiest I had been in months. I shook my head and continued home

Once I made it to my door I fumbled with the keys, trying to fit it in the hole. Once I was successfully inside I dropped my keys in the table. I heard her before I saw her 5...4...3...2...1 and... "WHAT THE HELL ROBERT?!" I sighed and leaned against the wall as she rounded the corner. I know she can smell the alcohol on me because she immediately looks defeated. "Why? Why do you do this? You're not just hurting yourself. I've been waiting for you. Hours I've been trying to call you. To know that you were at least okay. You cant answer a text?" She frowns and I can see it in her eyes. She's done. But she's too nice to say it, she care so much. Too much. I'll be the bad guy. It's the least I can do. I know she loves me, or at least she tried. At one point I knew she would cross through hell with me. I was the prince charming in her was before, and this was now. Circumstances change and I had quickly become the villain. I hated doing this to her. But I couldn't bring myself to let her go. t least not sober. I knew I wasn't good for her. She had done everything for me and I let her, but I never showed her I was thankful for her. I had been chipping away at her view of me until there was nothing left. But still she stayed. I needed to push her away. Make her realize that this wasn't what she deserved. I wasn't what she deserved. Tonight I would make her see it. "Its kinda hard with a bottle in my hand..." I say dismissively, my words slurring slightly. I can see the anger spark behind her eyes. " Look, i'm not in the mood to have this fight right now. So if you don't mind, i'm gonna go lay down. " I stand up straight and start heading to our room. " I do mind! Robert I love you but i cant stay up all night worrying about you. You promised you wouldn't go out. You snuck out while I was in the shower Robert. Is it that hard to be with me and talk to me? I want to help you but-" I turn around and groan " Oh my god Jennifer shut up with that shit. I left because of you. There's always something! I don't talk to you enough, I was late, i'm moody, I should find a different job. Everyday there is something that you're upset about. So yes, I left while you were in the shower. I needed to be as far away from you as possible. Are you fucking happy now?" I snap at her. I hated this. The fighting. The hurt look in her eyes tore my heart to shreds. I knew my words where harsh, untrue as they may be, but they had to be. I knew this was for the best. She needed this. A reason to go. I watched as the tears collected in her eyes but she refused to let them fall. " If i'm so hard to be with, why do you want be be with me?" she asks, her voice low. This was it. The final blow. My stomach clenched and I felt my heart sink. This was goodbye. I looked her up and down and while my face showed disgust, in my head I was memorizing everything about her because I knew that this was the last time I'd see her. "Who says I do?" I give her a look of disinterest as I watch her tears fall. There its is. She shakes her head in disbelief as she walks past me and gathers her purse, shoving in her phone and a few small things. She comes back with her car keys, removing the key I gave her and she sets it next to mine. Opening the door, i see her wipe her eyes and take a deep breath before turning to me " Don't ever talk to me again. I'm done. I hope you rot in here." She says angrily as she steps out closing the door harshly behind her. I cringe at the noise and slump against the wall. Closing my eyes I hear her car start and peel off. This was for the best.

I sigh and trudge into my bedroom and collapse onto the bed. I grab the remote from the end table and flick on the TV for background noise. Kicking off my shoes, i scoot under the covers and close my eyes. I knew I wasn't going to have a good night sleep. But hopefully the alcohol would help me pass out. images Jennifer danced behind my eyes, as sadness filled me. But she was quickly replaced by the man at the bar. His disfigured body seemed to be haunting me as i flung my eyes open. The image scared me, but i was still content with what had happened. That same warmth spread through me once again. It was almost...enjoyable.


End file.
